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Unexpected Benefits of Midlife Career Change Coaching

11/12/2020

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You tell me that recently your employer, along with your whole industry has struggled due to the pandemic. The leadership team, you and your senior colleagues dug in and battled to keep it afloat, but eventually the CEO admitted defeat. The balance sheet wasn’t strong enough for the business to survive. 
Nevertheless, I see how you come to the Reinventu™ career reinvention process weary but still expectant. You feel your career future is uncertain, but I sense your determination too; to reorientate if need be and open yourself up to change, and winning back some control.

Skills Audit, Dreams and Reflection in Midlife Career Reinvention

You engage with the process, you reflect on your career and enthuse about your passions. You tell me you gain awareness and insight about yourself, who you are and what you want. You explore the wonderings and dreams that you’ve pushed away for half a lifetime, and suggest that it was high time that you seized the opportunity to reflect on what makes you tick, what fires you up at midlife and what you long for in your future career.

You surprise yourself too : when you realise just how many hard and soft skills you’ve accumulated through your career: the amount of experience you have and the valuable qualities you’ve developed along the way. You’re blown away when you realise just how far you’ve come since you started out as a graduate trainee nearly twenty years ago.
You tell me that you feel that our regular career coaching sessions and the Reinventu™ process make you feel safe. You feel in this space that you can move beyond ‘shoulds’, ‘oughts’ and your established rules and beliefs about how things are in work and life.  “I’m surprising myself” you say, “there was me and the day job and a lot of practicalities up until now… ​and now I’m
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in touch with something else, something greater than career progression and making money, it feels like it’s something about... ‘why I’m here’.
​

And I see how you’re growing and I suggest that you are so much more than that senior manager in your industry, and you tell me that you get that, you really feel that now.

Overcoming Barriers to Midlife Career Transitions

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It’s not all plain sailing. Doubt creeps in at times about whether you can make the changes to your career and life that you really want to make. ​Could you disrupt your life in the way in which you now feel drawn to do? ​Could you transition from having one big corporate role dominating your thoughts all your waking hours; where there are many good projects but also other initiatives 
that make your heart sink and drain your energy? ​Could you live more flexibly with a portfolio of projects and roles, where each one sets your heart on fire and allows you to bring more of you into the world?

We work through the doubts which you say feels like deep work that brings to awareness your established patterns of how you respond to challenges and risk, and you realise now that there may be more resourceful ways to respond to life. You say you are feeling less torn. We work on how to finance your transition plan, we continue, you notice you feel by turns waves of exhilaration and terror.

The Spirit of Midlife Career Reinvention

​Gradually you find you can hold both those emotions for longer. It seems to me that you are becoming infused by a spirit of adventure. You say you feel hopeful and joyous and even though there’s some discomfort, your nascent adventure feels right.

 I see in you as I have seen in many who 
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have walked this Reinventu™ path before, that you have become more fully alive. You have a burning sense of purpose and direction. You are realising that midlife career reinvention is not just about getting to a plan. It’s about the feeling, a feeling that says ‘yes’ to the universe… And you say it’s like nothing you’ve felt before. ​

© Trudy Lloyd & Associates 2020. All Rights Reserved.
If you'd like to have a chat about how the Reinventu™  process for midlife career reinvention please contact me
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5 Top Executive Career Coaching Questions to Handle Career Uncertainty

27/7/2020

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Even though we’re working online I can see you’re agitated as we begin your coaching session. You* shift in your seat and the pen clamped between your index and middle finger judders up and down continuously.

​You thought you’d be cock a hoop that lockdown was easing. But then it hit you 
​that during these last few months, you’d been coping by subconsciously believing things would return to normal… You’ve realised that’s not going to happen, it might never happen… You feel shaken, afraid, lost.

​Handling Unprecedented Career Uncertainty

​I hear how you’re grappling with this new uncertainty.  The prospects for your industry are dire. Your bosses kept you and your team busy during lockdown with current projects. But with no future pipeline to speak of, your higher-ups have warned that posts will soon have to go.

You’re barely sleeping with the anxiety about the mortgage and the bills, it’s unbelievable how much it costs to take care of a family. Thank God your wife is a teacher – at least her work looks secure at the moment…
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But it’s not just that. Despite this grim outlook for your work situation, part of you is recalcitrant. Lockdown and in particular working from home has changed you. 
​“Can you believe this?” You say. “I’m terrified of losing my job… but at the same time, the idea of resuming my commute and working in the office all the time makes my hackles rise…. It’s so
​unnecessary, it’s exhausting… But I mean, what’s going on with me? How can I even think of being picky at a time like this?” ​
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I tell you that despite your suspicions you’re not going mad. Let’s get some perspective, we’re living through a period of unprecedented change. Even during the Second World War, schools generally stayed open. 

Welcome to the VUCA world; volatile, uncertain, complex and ambiguous. We’ve had glimpses of it in the last twenty years due to the impact of new technologies and globalisation, but Covid-19 has taken VUCA to a whole new level. There’s volatility – infection rates are swinging up and down across the world. We have uncertainty – will there be a second lockdown? This is complex – it’s not just about your industry, it’s whether the eco-system of industries that feeds your industry survives. It’s ambiguous - different people interpret the data about the key measures deemed important differently. I wouldn’t be surprised if you feel in turmoil.

​Nostalgia for Career Stability

“I feel in turmoil,” you say.  “And there’s something else. I’m wondering if maybe I never had it so good as in the pre-Covid world! No it wasn’t perfect, but my work seemed stable, my life was on track, we went on holiday and away for the weekend. I worked out in the gym, had a pint with my mates… and I took it all pretty much for granted.”

 “So perhaps you’re feeling nostalgia for the good times?” I say, and you nod. And we agree that those times feel safe because we’ve lived through them and enjoyed them. And I hear the hopelessness in your voice when you say you feel defeated, but you’d like some answers if there are any.
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And I suggest that the old normal has gone and we have no clue about how the new normal of work and the economy will turn unfold. What’s more, spending time on predicting the future environment will likely be a fool’s errand. 

 Career Hope Alongside Covid-19

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And then there’s you. And you’re no longer the you who went into lockdown…
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​And I ask if you would be willing to reflect on the only area you can influence right now.  Would you be ​willing to try to understand your ‘new self’  a little better?
 And I ask you five questions and wait for your responses.
  • What’s Important in your working life now?
  • What’s no longer important or less important in your working life now?
  • Where are you now in your career?
  • What trying to emerge for you in your career now?
  • What’s getting in the way of this?
An then I ask the 'bonus' question...
  • What qualities do you need to develop to move forward now?
And afterwards, you say you feel a little hope and perhaps slightly calmer. You realise you need to turn your attention to the future and plan you’re first step, take it, and then the next and then the next. 
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And I say that’s what I’m doing… and that’s all any of us can do right now.
* This is a fictionalised coaching case based on recent experience. No content in this exchange is directly drawn from work with any particular individual or individuals.
© 2020 Trudy Lloyd & Associates. All Rights Reserved.
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Leadership Coaching : Speaking Up and Speaking Out

29/11/2019

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You come to me for leadership coaching and say that you’re not achieving the results your higher-ups desire. Now, they’ve also tasked you with integrating an acquisition and ‘sweating those newly acquired assets’ harder.

​"You tell me about the fraught climate in your division, of conflict-riddled meetings, factional teams who won’t 
collaborate, the soaring absence-rate and how you struggle to retain talent.

You know what you’re doing isn’t working.

I ask you what you’d like to do differently, and you fall silent. It’s a treadmill you say and you can’t change it. Your teams are exhausted, but you push them on because the CEO screams that the share price has tanked and the sales pipeline is weak.
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I ask again what you’d like to do differently, and frustrated, you say flippantly "give my teams a break! A rest".
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And I see the sadness in your eyes, and your exhaustion. “Maybe that’s what you need too...”

​We Need New Ways to Lead

“It’s OK,” I say as you blink back tears.  “Lots of people in business are tired and need to slow-down but feel they can’t.  And yes it’s true that the business probably wouldn’t survive a mass six-month sabbatical. But you’re a leader and together we can find a new way forward.”
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You shake your head, even the HR director simply urged you to tighten up on performance management and employ disciplinary processes if need be. You sigh. “No one sees… no one sees…”

“What don’t they see?” 

“That we’re destroying it all; our reputation, our customer relationships; with poor service and after-care, and our people… We drive them like machines!”

You exhale, and you’re feeling the folly of it all.

And then you smile ruefully, and together we’re contemplating those two opposing forces in life and business. The ‘force for change’, some call will; to set goals and targets, take action, persist, achieve and shape the competitive environment. And opposing it the ‘force for acceptance’, some call love; to empathise with people and care for them, bring them together and to accept current reality in all its complexity. 

We sit silently, feeling the tension between those forces and the awesome task to harmonise them and make business sustainable.
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You shake your head, and say you don’t know where to start.

​Leadership Requires Your Take Risks

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And I ask if you’re willing to be courageous, and to risk; your reputation, your career, your financial security?
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And of course you’re reluctant; to lead such change alone and when you don’t have the clout of the CEO.
And yet we make a plan, just baby steps, to begin to shift the balance in your division between achieving business targets and nurturing people and relationships.

And when you return you say it hasn’t been easy, but you’re now acknowledging what people have done instead of simply focusing on what’s next. You’re listening actively and engaging with your colleagues concerns rather than downplaying them. You’ve even championed people getting away from their desks at lunchtime!

But there’s pushback. Your higher–ups claim you’re losing your grip. They’re bringing forward the deadline for your division’s business plan so as to have it completed by the time the top team visit. You sigh, everyone will have to work late nights to achieve that!

You shrug and I feel how it hurts you to consider reneging on the ‘better way’ you’ve promised your teams.
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And then I see your nascent leader emerging, and your passion, to make your division a place where you deliver results AND care for your people.

Leaders Need to Speak Up and Speak Out

And in this space between us you’re tapping into your self-belief and your preparing to step up. We’re preparing your appeal to the heads and the hearts of your higher-ups and how you’ll seek to interrupt their habitual ways and have them too experience the reality of the unsustainable course they've set. 
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We imagine how you might inspire them to consider change,and develop your negotiation strategy to get the deadline pushed back, including your red lines. We also work with what holds you back.

And as you leave, you smile and say you’ll give it your best shot, but the important thing was deciding.

“Deciding?”

“To listen to the voice inside, and to speak up and; change or no change, choosing to speak out.
 
​And my heart sings at the leader you’re becoming.
© 2019 Trudy Lloyd & Associates. All Rights Reserved.
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Top 3 Reasons to Hire an Executive Career Coach

3/10/2019

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Why should you invest in an executive career coach when at the click of a mouse you can choose from a gargantuan library of articles about managing your career and changing careers? Online, there’s also a constantly updating stream of information about companies and potential employers. Can’t you just research your next career steps alone? 
And if career change is on your mind – won’t a little brainstorming suffice?
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I agree, online research can help you manage your career, change jobs, prepare for job interviews and more. 

Executive Career Coaching is Personalised Help

However, perhaps you want to find a stimulating and meaningful career path where you can grow your skills over time. Or you’d like to redesign your career so that your work remains meaningful even as you grow as a person through life. Perhaps you want to stay relevant in a fast-changing world, or maximise the financial return on your skill-set and experience. HOW you might achieve these things is personal to you, and online research is unlikely to give you information personalised enough to help you and your specific situation.
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That’s where the help of an executive career coach or career counsellor can transform the way you manage your career, and catapult you to higher levels of career fulfilment and career happiness.

3 Key Reasons to Invest in an Executive Career Coach

1. To Help YOU Get a Meaningful and Rewarding Role

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Let’s face it recruiters’ objectives are often diametrically opposed to yours as a candidate. Success for the recruiter is achieving a low-risk hire for their client company; tried and tested – coming from the same role at a competitor is ideal; bam, recruiter’s commission assured. In short, recruiters can limit your options.

If for example, you’re trying to move out of a declining sector into a new sector to improve your long term job security or if you’re looking to move into a new function – say from marketing to HR to respond to your changing interests and aspirations at midlife, recruiters’ narrowmindedness can have you crawling up the walls. Recruiters mostly want to put round pegs in round holes… and they may see you as a square peg.
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By contrast a good professional career coach sees not only your current skill-set and your career history to date, they also see you as a unique individual whose potential continues to emerge as you progress through your career. They see you as someone who has achieved a lot, but who has plenty more to learn and contribute in their career and in life. They see this even if right now, you can’t.
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Because of this an executive career coach can help you to raise your expectations for new roles. They can help you think strategically about how, in your current organisation, you might progress into the kind of role you desire. They can also help you think imaginatively about how you can transfer your skills and your changing interests into new roles or functions that may be very different from what you’ve done to date.
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If you feel jaded about your career, an executive career counsellor can challenge your limiting beliefs about what’s possible for you.

2.To Develop an Actionable and Inspiring Career Plan

Ultimately a top executive career coach can help you put together a highly personalised career development strategy and career plan or a career change plan. They can also help you identify any blocks to change or resistance you may have and help you to overcome them.
 
What’s more they can help you develop creative strategies which will mean you can leapfrog the narrowminded recruiters and reach influencers and decision-makers who will be delighted with the skills and traits you have to offer.

3. To Save Time and Make More Money

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It’s often said that looking for a job or a career move is a full-time job. So if you’re in a role but looking to move on, it can be hard to find the time to work on your future career. An executive career coach can help you to stay focused by developing a plan with you. 
They can also keep you accountable so that you continue to move forward and implement the plan. This will mean that you will get to your new role sooner.

​If it’s a promotion you’re looking for, an executive career coach can support you to make every step of the career move process more effective for you, so you get that bigger role quicker and bank that bigger pay cheque sooner. Whether it’s designing your job search strategy, writing an impactful and persuasive CV or improving your interview and networking skills, an executive career coach can keep you focused and on track.

Finally, an executive career coach is probably more interested in YOUR career than your partner or your friends and family. In fact, they’re as interested and invested in your career as you are.
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A good executive career coach brings you the process, tools and knowledge to triumph with the project that is your career development. Your coach will help you think creatively so you can open up new career paths and career opportunities for yourself. Ultimately your executive career coach will work with you in an empathetic and supportive way and you’ll feel them championing you and your career!
© 2019 Trudy Lloyd & Associates. All Rights Reserved.
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Why Some Executive Coaching Fails

27/7/2019

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 You come to me disillusioned after working with another executive coach.​
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You haven’t achieved your goals. Isn’t that, you say, achieving goals – especially ambitious ones – what coaching’s all about?

​​I hear your disappointment. You trusted, you opened up to the coaching process and revealed your deepest thoughts and feelings, but you didn’t get what you'd hoped for.

All ​Executive Coaching is NOT the Same

​I’m saddened because I know executive coaching can be so much better. Executive coaching can transform the way you see your world. It can energise you and free you; to raise your level of personal happiness and achievement.

But this hasn’t happened for you. So here’s my thoughts.
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All executive coaching is NOT the same. Many models of coaching tell us that the coachee (individual being coached) holds sway over their whole personality. Such models assume you’re in control, or can ‘take control’ of your thoughts and feelings and leverage them at will. The assumption is that you choose your goals and then you can simply mobilise your necessary resources; brain, body and emotions to pursue and deliver those goals.

​'Unconscious' Blocks to Change

​Now let me tell you about what some models¹ of human psychology and personality maintain – and it’s different. These models hypothesise that for most people such ‘freedom to act’ rarely exists.

These psychological models suggest that your everyday interactions, behaviour and thinking are greatly influenced by your ‘unconscious’. This is 'psychic material' that you are scarcely or totally unaware of and which has accumulated throughout your lifetime - much of it from your childhood experience. The models suggest that it’s your ‘unconscious’ which gives rise to many of your mental barriers and emotional blocks to change.
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Many coaches focus almost exclusively on goal setting and action.  Typically, coaches don’t concern themselves with helping you discover what YOUR entrenched mental barriers and emotional blocks to change are.

​Accountability is Not Enough

As a result, no matter how much your coach ‘holds you to account’ and checks your progress, your blocks to change may triumph over the goals and plans you’ve created. You fail to achieve what you want and worse, may lose self-confidence.

Sally’s* story may help illuminate. Sally was deeply unhappy about her boss's new 'ways of working'. He scheduled early morning meetings with her – despite her having previously agreed with her employer that she could flex her hours around the school run. She also felt that her boss valued her contributions and proposals less than those from other team members.

Along with her executive coach Sally set goals to improve her relationship with her boss. She planned how to approach him, she got clear on what she needed to say to him and how. She gathered the evidence to support her case.  Sally and her executive coach also worked on strategies and techniques to help her build her confidence.

Unfortunately Sally neither followed through nor achieved her goals. By the time I met Sally she was disillusioned with executive coaching. However, she was brave enough to give coaching another chance.
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I worked with Sally using a psychodynamic coaching approach. Psychodynamic coaching has a broader focus that just goals and plans. Psychodynamic coaching takes into account the ‘unconscious material’ that can block our progress.

During the coaching, we discovered Sally’s ‘pleaser’. This part of her personality was terrified of confrontation and always put the needs of others before her own.

Sally’s ‘pleaser’ had developed when she was growing up, as a response to her unpredictable home life. When Sally had planned to talk to her boss, even though she had it mind to be reasonable and to put forward a well-researched proposal, the ‘pleaser’ stopped her.  Her 'pleaser' was terrified of the situation turning nasty.

Sally had not been aware of this ‘pleaser’ part of her personality before. In fact, Sally learned that much of the time she was at work she was strongly ‘identified’ with her. ‘Identified’ means relating to the world through a particular part of your personality. Doing so can feel familiar and safe. However, it is our ‘identifications’ that are often the cause of mental or emotional blocks to change. 

​Psychodynamic Coaching Can Release Your Entrenched Mental Barriers and Emotional Blocks

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​A psychodynamic model of coaching can help you discover where you may be overly reliant on a particular part of your personality. We don’t all have 'pleasers'! Some people have ‘judges’ or ‘drivers’ or other parts that are ‘ruling the roost’ and preventing them from achieving what they truly want.

What’s more, psychodynamic coaching can also release you from living in this unbalanced way. By doing so you transform your perspective and your life. You gain greater self-awareness and open up more choices for yourself. You become better able to set the goals that truly matter to you and you can tap into new energy and motivation to make those goals happen.
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As I said, I’m sorry that you were disappointed with your coaching and I hope in time you’ll dare to trust executive coaching again… Perhaps with a psychodynamic approach? I’d love you to experience its transformational gift. 

 * Name and some details have been changed to protect confidentiality
¹ Unfolding Self. The Practice of Psychosynthesis. Molly Young Brown (Allsworth Press 2004)


© 2019 Trudy Lloyd & Associates. All Rights Reserved.
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The Joy of Changing or Developing your Career at 40 or 50.

29/7/2018

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Joy? Never.
Career change or career development is difficult and stressful. …And that’s on top of my heavy workload in my current role.

I hear you. You don’t like your job, some days you’d like to pack it in. But you can’t allow yourself to think that… There’s the mortgage to pay, perhaps you’re supporting children at school or university. You tell yourself to ‘knuckle down’ and just get on with it.
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​You feel that your job sounds good (on paper). You’ve got a great job title… Some people would kill for such a job… And yet this job is killing you; slowly, relentlessly, devouring your soul…

I Hear How You’re Feeling Conflicted

I hear you. I hear how you’re feeling conflicted. I hear how you’re exhausted by the demands of your job. The commutes feel harder than they did 20 years ago. Some days you’re not even sure if your organisation values your years of experience. All those bright young things seem to bounce round the office – fingers flying as they text, working at a frenzied pace.
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It’s a tantalising idea to change or develop your career at midlife. But surely, you feel, working on changing your career will just further overload you and your ‘to do’ list?
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Psst! I’ll let you into a secret. Midlife career change CAN be joyful. That was the exact word that Sarah* used to describe her midlife career change journey. Sarah had become increasingly unfulfilled with her senior role in business development. She’d led a team for the last few years and they’d delivered their targets. Now things were getting tougher. Their targets had been increased in a declining market, and though she’d fought hard, she’d not been given a penny of additional promotional spend. Sarah kept up her good work… developing new strategies and tactics… She continued to give her all. She was no shirker. 

Exhale Ahhhh, Relax and Play…

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But then Sarah took her summer holiday. She reclined on the golden sands of an Italian beach, and marveled at the azure sea. She felt herself exhale, ahhhh, relax, and let go of all thoughts of work. She laughed with her husband and had play fights with him in the sea. And she realised she’d forgotten how to play in the last few years.

When she returned home, we met and she told me she was up for ‘playing’ with the idea of changing her career. She was up for dreaming of new possibilities of how she could work and live. I helped her to look at the world of work with ‘fresh eyes’, and notice just how much it has changed in the last fifteen years… And how there are now many new ways to work, earn a living and contribute. During our time together Sarah got excited and inspired… And now she’s arrived at a place where she’s talking to a charity about using her skills part time to support them in fundraising. She’s also planning to set up an interior design business with a friend. But most importantly, she tells me she’s rejuvenated and excited about the next 20 years of her working life.
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And now I see YOU. I see all you’ve achieved in the last 15 or 20 years; the way you’ve shown up consistently in your role; despite crises at home, bad weather and ‘off days’. I acknowledge how you’ve contributed hugely to leading and developing your team, how you’ve kept your skills up to date, and dealt with the office politics and conflict along the way.

And in this summer holiday season, I wonder, could you make the space, to exhale - ahhhh, and relax, and in your own time to get playful again… About life and your career? 

* Name and some details have been changed to protect confidentiality
© 2018 Trudy Lloyd & Associates. All Rights Reserved.

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Career Change at 40 or 50 :  Your Top Tip to Make it Happen

17/6/2018

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“I have to change my career,” Rachel insists, her eyes burning. “I know I’ll regret it if I don’t at least try and do something where I can be more active; like becoming a personal trainer.

If this was the first time I’d coached Rachel it might make sense for us to start to explore exactly what type of ‘more active’ role might suit her. But it wasn’t the first time we’d talked, and in truth Rachel was already pretty clear that for her new career, she wanted to help people improve their health and fitness at midlife so they can have a long and happy retirement and old age.
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Indeed Rachel had already developed an excellent action plan for her new career. Unfortunately, she was making little progress implementing it. I asked Rachel a few more questions and things became clearer. 

The Problem of Being 'Identified' With Your Professional Role

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It seemed that Rachel was ‘identified’ so strongly with being an HR Director, and also with working in a large corporation, which was what she’d been doing for the last 18 years, that deep within her it felt impossible that she could be anything else. She’d had an ‘idea’ and made a plan to become a personal trainer. However, it was as if her internal ‘space’ was under monoculture to ‘HR Director vegetation’, and there was no ‘open ground’ within her, where she could plant and nurture the seedling for her new career.

If we’ve been in a role for 10, 15 or more years it’s easy to become ‘identified’ with that role. When this happens, our role is not just what we ‘do’, but it can seem that we ARE that role… and it can hard to be anything else. Our tendency to identify with our professional role may be exacerbated if we have worked long hours at it, and also perhaps if we enjoy the professional status that role gives us.
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It’s easy to identify with any role. A ‘mother’ or ‘father’ who takes a career break can become identified with their caregiving role, and then find it hard to make the transition back to their career. Being identified with a role can also make us feel alive and focused, and that we have somewhere to channel our energy.
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However, identifying with a role, any of our roles, ultimately limits us. Because when we are identified with a role we are not in control; instead we are being driven by unconscious urges. This means we will likely overlook and be unable to tap into our other talents, interests and traits.  This could mean that we miss out on career and life opportunities, miss out on what might make us happy at midlife. When we are heavily identified with a role and try to make career choices, there is a risk that we will make a sub-optimal choice.

Dis-Identifying from Your Role Can Help Your Midlife Career Change 

Even if you don’t want to make a career change at midlife, you could benefit from ending a strong ‘identification’ with, or dis-identifying from your work role. Dis-identifying from your work role will give you a new perspective from which to make decisions. It can also release more energy as you reclaim parts of you that you might have pushed aside. Another risk of being overly identified with a job role is that, should you lose that role, perhaps through redundancy, retirement or ill health, then you could feel ‘quite lost’. It might even bring you to a crisis.
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“We are dominated by everything with which our 'self' is identified. We can dominate and control everything from which we dis-identify ourselves" Assagioli.

Even if you’re working 60 hours a week at your job – you are much more than your role identity. Your role might require you to be  for example organised and pro-active and ‘results driven’ among other things. But what about those other great talents you have; perhaps your creativity, your playful side, your athletic side. Is there space in your life for these aspects of you to 'show up'? By identifying so strongly as an HR Director, Rachel’s view of all the other parts of herself was blocked. 

​How to Stop Being Identified with your Career Role.

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​Ending your identification with a career role is a journey. It’s a journey where you discover your ’self’. The ‘self’ is a still, but dynamic place inside you, from which you can observe and direct the various aspects of your personality.

Only when Rachel can stand back from her identity as an HR Director or dis-identify from it, will she feel less attached to the idea of herself in that role, and realise she has more ways of ‘being’ in the world.
  
To begin this process I asked Rachel to practise a couple of exercises. You can download the full instructions here.
Here's a quick summary of the role dis-identification exercises.
  • A meditation where she repeatedly asked herself ‘Who am I?’
  • An exercise to dis-identify from her role. ‘I am an HR Director, but I am more than an HR Director.

It’s not just our work roles with which we can become overly identified. We can also become identified with our minds, our feelings and our bodies. By identifying with any of these aspects of ourselves we limit the choices we have in life.

The process of dis-identifying from our roles, minds, feelings and bodies, is something that we can work on regularly. This will not only enable us to change our career when we feel the need to, but it can enable us to open up more options for our whole lives and for us to use more of our talents.
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Ultimately when we are in touch with our ‘self’, we are best placed to plan our career change or career development and most likely to  succeed with it. 
​© 2018 Trudy Lloyd & Associates All rights reserved.


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What Every Midlife Professional Ought to Know about Handling Relentless Pressure at Work

15/3/2018

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You work on your skill set, right? 

Of course. It’s a must for you as a 21st century professional; to keep up with your field, with work technologies and relevant legislation. …So when did you last upgrade your skills in handling the pressure at work?
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Professionals often tell me that earlier in their career they might have experienced short bursts of high-intensity working, but then things always quietened down again. However, now they feel the pressure at work is relentless.
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Such pressure left unchecked can lead to workplace stress and wreak havoc on health; weakening the immune system, upsetting the digestion, disturbing sleep and more.  Stress can damage relationships inside and outside of work, making people feel miserable and no longer able to enjoy life.

How Can I Combat Workplace Stress?

Clients struggling to cope with workplace stress, often ask me if they should leave their role or change career. I tell them : “You have three choices – and leaving to find pastures new is only one of them”.

Here are the other two options.
  1. Change the SITUATION that’s stressing you.
  2. Change YOURSELF.
Whether you can influence change in your working environment will depend on the culture, how well you relate to your colleagues and what resources are available.

Explore with your boss or colleagues options to reduce pressure and combat stress; these might include deferring deadlines, getting access to extra resource from inside or outside the organisation, doing some work from home and cutting back on the scope of a project. Brainstorm as many ideas as you can and try to make a case.
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And yes, I’m aware that speaking out at work about how you’re experiencing pressure and even stress may carry risks as to how you’re perceived, and may even affect your career progression. However, if your current job with less pressure would still suit you, then maybe it’s worth a try?

How to Grow your Capability to Handle Workplace Pressure and Stress. 

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Ultimately though, option two may be more fruitful: Change yourself. This means growing your capability to handle the pressure at work.

I imagine you’re already familiar with what I call ‘Level One’ stress management techniques. They include ‘self-care basics’. However, it’s easy to break these positive habits when we’re under pressure.
  • Eat a nutritious diet and avoid junk food.
  • Exercise and stretch regularly.
  • Get enough sleep.
Follow these and you’ll have more strength and vitality to cope.  Level One techniques also include personal rituals:-
  • Morning meditation, visualisation and 'setting your intention' for the day.
These tools won’t stop people interrupting your work and diverting your attention from your personal priorities, but they may help you get back on track more easily.
  • Remember your boundaries.
Push back on tasks that aren’t in your remit. Be wary of colleagues sweet talking you into accepting work they should be handling. Push back on requests for you to deliver tight turnarounds, particularly when it’s to make up for delays further up the pipeline.
  • Remember your emergency stress responses
Learn and practise your breathing techniques, affirmations and calming visualisations for when times get tough.

Advanced Techniques to Handle Workplace Pressure and Stress.

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OK, but what if you’re still feeling the pressure? That’s where what I call ‘Level Two’ techniques come in.

‘Level Two’ techniques can bring about a step change in how you manage pressure and stress at work. E.g. They’ll enable you to ‘get away’ from work when you’re not there, so that you’re not recreating your 'stress response', and the attendant risks to your health, by thinking about work at home. You may need to work at mastering these techniques, but if you’ll do, you’ll reap huge quality of life rewards.

Here's a brief introduction. If you’d like to learn more, we've got an online workshop where we’ll be getting into more detail. bit.ly/2DtUHAw

Are You Too Attached to 'The Outcome'?
  • How do you think about your work? If you have fixed ideas about outcomes and what is best for your career; ‘I must win this client’, I must get that promotion, then you’re likely setting yourself up for failure repeatedly, and by doing so adding to your work stress. 
I’m not suggesting that you shouldn’t be productive and ambitious in your work role. What’s critical to avoid stress is to be able to ‘just do your best’ and then ‘let go’ of outcomes over which you’ve got no control.

Are You 'Too Identified' With Your Role?
  • You may feel you just want to be ‘a good accountant’ or a ‘good salesperson’. But be aware that your job can become a place to ‘prove your worth’.
  • If much or ALL of your self-esteem comes from your professional role, work will take on disproportionate importance in your life. You'll risk ‘performance anxiety’. ‘Failures’ will hit harder, and stress will increase.
You can start to explore how attached or identified you are with your role through mindfulness meditation. In addition, there are specific techniques and meditations that can help you reduce your attachment and identification with work. We’ll cover these in the workshop.

Handling pressure and avoiding stress is a key life skill in the 21st century. Perhaps it’s the MOST important professional skill - because it’s fundamental to your ability to keep on working and to enjoy your work!

If you'd like to learn more about advanced techniques for handling pressure and stress at work why not join us for this online workshop ​​bit.ly/2DtUHAw

How have you learned to handle pressure? Share what's worked for you in the comments below!

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Great Money or Meaningful Work? : How to Have Both

10/1/2018

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"​Karen, an account manager in a software company complained to me that she’d grown tired of her role and found it unfulfilling. She wanted work that was more ‘meaningful’.“Trouble is,” she went on, “doing something more ‘meaningful’ isn’t going to pay the mortgage or enable me to support the kids through university, is it?"
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​I've found it’s common for professionals in well-paid but unfulfilling roles to believe that a career switch to work that’s more ‘meaningful’ will cost them dear. However, I also know it doesn’t have to be so.

What is ‘Meaningful’ Work?

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​​Findings from studies defining ‘meaningful’ work, point to concepts such as ‘the amount of significance people perceive to exist in their work ¹.  There’s the idea of a ‘calling’ which has deep historical and religious roots and which might lead people to choosing a role within the church or a healthcare environment. Nowadays the phrase ‘calling’ is often more about an inner drive to do fulfilling or self-actualising work².

There’s also the related concept of ‘meaning in life’³. Which suggests that work is meaningful not only when it is judged to be significant, but also when it is viewed as having a distinct purpose or point.

Some argue that you don’t have to have ‘meaningful’ work, as long as you find meaning in other parts of your life e.g. through family and relationships, a hobby, using your creativity, or through your faith.

The late Susan Jeffers, renowned author and psychotherapist, encouraged us to set the bar high. If your work isn’t ‘joyful’ she encourages us to ditch it.
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Ultimately, ‘meaningful work’ is a ‘career value’ which any individual will rank somewhere on a continuum from high to low, according to their own make-up.

 The Midlife Crisis and Your Career

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​Your interest in your career may wane gradually over several years. Or, having been made redundant, you may experience a sudden realisation: ‘I can’t go back to doing that! Either way it can feel frightening when the career that may have paid you handsomely and have reinforced a positive sense of self no longer ‘fits’.

Such experiences are consistent with what renowned psychotherapist and psychoanalyst Carl Jung labelled as the ‘midlife crisis’. Jung believed such an event to be driven by a ‘search for meaning’, and attributed it to the need to ‘individuate’ at midlife, self-actualise and develop further our unique selves.
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If you made your career choice in your early twenties, perhaps twenty years ago. And since then you’ve changed and grown, and the world has also changed; is it really surprising that you, your career and the world of work no longer fit together like freshly sawn jigsaw pieces?

How to Get a Better Money-Meaning Balance in Your Career

​There’s no quick fix. However, by starting with these three strategies you’ll be on your way to a better balance of money and meaning in your career at midlife.

1.Update Your Understanding of YOU
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​Uncover your current ‘career values’ by asking yourself the question. What is important to me in a (my) career now?

Take some quiet time to do this and write your answers down. Review them a week later and add new ones that occur to you, remove any that don’t really resonate. Finally, try and prioritise your top five.  Where is ‘meaning’ in this list? How does it relate to your other career values?
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Audit your current skills. People have told me that they find this hard. They take their skills for granted, they’re just ‘doing their job’. Get started by thinking through a major project you’ve completed, what skills did you use to deliver it? Don’t forget the soft or interpersonal skills.

2. Consider Your 'Business Model'​

​A business model can be defined as ‘how a business makes money’. Your business model is how YOU make money.  As a midlife professional you may see career opportunities in terms of employers and candidates, full-time and part-time. However, nowadays it’s more helpful to think in terms of a global market for skills.

Skills can be sold in any size ‘package’ from an hour’s work to a full time role and every increment in between. Skills can be sold to regular employers or directly to customers, to agencies or through an online platform, to name but a few.

How are you going to ‘package’ your skills? And what type of business model will suit you best e.g. time for money, project fee, retained fee, revenue share from a business, equity stake in a business? As in any market, rare skills or unusual combinations of skills can command premium prices.
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Considering these things will help you explore alternative business models and ultimately help you maximise your income and your return on activity (and investment) from the huge asset that is your skill set.  

3.Keep Focused on Money as you Explore ‘Meaningful’ Career Opportunities.​

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​Think, like Karen, that you can’t have money and meaning - then you surely won’t. One of the most important reasons people don't get the remuneration they want is because they are not ambitious enough about money.

Get clear about how much money you want… and then set a goal of significantly more than that.

Madness? No. By setting a challenging goal we send a message to our subconscious that it needs to come up with a plan to deliver the results you desire.

Ultimately, achieving both money and meaning in your career is a creative process. It’s about breaking free from an outdated and constricted view of the ‘job market’ and being open to exploring new options for you in the global ‘skills market’.
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Want to learn more about reinventing your career to have both money and meaning? Download my Reinventu™ process guide here.
Sources
1. (Rosso, Dekas, & Wrzesniewski, 2010)
2 (Baumeister, 1991; Hall & Chandler, 2005)
3 (Steger & Dik, 2009)

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How to Get Ready for Changing Your Career at Midlife :   3 Brilliant Ways

7/8/2017

1 Comment

 
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So you’re thinking of changing your career at midlife? Reinventing it even. Simultaneously you feel exhilarated and petrified. Maybe those feelings surge in equal measures, or perhaps one far outweighs the other.

You’ve reached the final straw. You missed out on a much hoped for promotion. …Or a wave of redundancies has been announced. Your relationship with your boss has hit rock bottom. …Or the death of a loved one brings home to you your own mortality. Worse, it’s your health and relationships that are suffering through your crazy hours and bonkers commute… Perhaps you long for ‘something else’, and now that ache you’ve been suppressing for some years, is pushing up again, refusing to be ignored any longer.

Suddenly you realise you’re being called to make changes – but where to begin?  How to ‘set off’ if you cannot see a path? Can you call this ‘a journey’ if you’re not clear about the destination?
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The emotions of the people I meet who are beginning to change career fall along a continuum from petrified to exhilarated. What’s more the emotions of career changers often lurch about; one day they feel excited and optimistic, the next they may feel scared and hopeless. Reinventing your career brings a rollercoaster of emotions.

The good news is there are steps you can take to prepare for your career change which will give you the best chance of success. Here’s three to get you started.

1.Frame your Career Change Journey Magnificently.​

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​We’re often taught to see ‘opportunities’ in life as related to acquiring things - possessions, wealth and status. We’re led to believe that if we go after these visible signs of ‘success’, we’ll increase our feelings of security.
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However, if we bring such an attitude to our career change or career reinvention process, we risk increasing our anxiety. We may start to feel overwhelmed mulling over ‘what’s at stake’, and specifically about what we might lose if we change career. This will likely make us feel insecure. Wanting to feel secure again, we may retreat from making changes.

There’s another way of looking at opportunities and success. Instead of thinking in terms of ‘having things’ we can think about how an opportunity can help us develop our capacity to ‘handle things’.
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Arming ourselves with such a mindset as we pursue life changes - like career reinvention - will set us up to learn from the new challenge. We’ll see how we can use the change process to build our capacity to handle things. This in turn will build self–esteem.
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Ultimately, it is our ability to ‘handle things’ in life that enables us to feel secure.

2.Accept that Fear Will Accompany You on Your Career Change Journey.​

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Even though you’ve made a decision to change your career, the voice in your head may still kick in from time to time. …To stir fresh doubts about your ability to follow through. …To have you hankering for all you’ll be leaving behind - perhaps the familiarity of your role and your colleagues and your attractive benefit package. And even when you’ve dealt with the fear once, it may be back - a second, third or fourth time…
 
Fear signals to us that something important is at stake.

Many people, standing at the top of a cliff preparing to abseil down, are filled with terror. They’re scared that they’ll be injured through falling/the rope breaking/ falling out of the harness. Fear is telling them their body is at stake. Fear warns us to take care of ourselves.

Similarly when we feel fear around career change, the fear is also telling us something important is at stake – our reputation, our earning power, our happiness. No wonder it feels scary.

But fear can be a poorly tuned ‘warning system’ and prone to overreacting. For some people lights flash and sirens wails even as they begin to contemplate career change.
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In order to make a career change, we need to acknowledge the fear, but not let it stop us from connecting with our desires, or researching new opportunities, making plans and taking the actions we need to take.

We need to push on through despite the fear; one small step at a time.

3.Leverage your Emotions to Help You Change your Career.​

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​We all w​ant to move away from painful things in our lives and move towards pleasure. Understand this and you’ll be tapping into the secret to motivating yourself to do anything. You’ll also be able to use this technique to help you change or reinvent your career.

It may be frustrating when your boss dumps more projects on you yet again, or tiring when you’re four hours late home again due to train delays, but if you’re serious about changing your career you can leverage these experiences to drive your change forward.

If you want to make changes, whenever you’ve had a rotten day, instead of drowning your frustration in a large glass of Merlot – take time to reflect. Get in touch with the ‘pain’ of your current situation. Dial it up. Think about all the days in the last six months when you felt unhappy about your work. Recall just how bad things have become. Connect with that pain, connect deeply and get really clear that things must change.

Similarly, you can leverage pleasure to help motivate you in your career change. When you’ve made some progress with your career plans – visualise your new future, imagine how great it will feel when you’re doing a role that is more authentically you. Connect with that pleasure deeply and connect with it every day.
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Using pleasure as a motivational tool keeps you on track and helps you bounce back from any setbacks in your career change process. 

Bonus Tip : Stay Connected Through Career Change.

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Finally, when you make significant changes to your life there’s a risk that you may become isolated. If progress feels slow, some people withdraw from friends and sit alone, anxious and brooding about their future, and possibly regretful about the past.

Preparing to change your career means thinking about who to tell and how much to tell them. If your plans will affect the lives and financial security of other people then you need to discuss your plans with them and resolve any areas of conflict.

After that, it’s time to surround yourself with a wider network of support. These are the people that will listen to your doubts but never doubt you, and believe in you throughout your career reinvention journey.

Next time you hear a 'call' to make changes to your career or your life, what are you going to do? Give in to your fears and ignore it… Or push through your fears to a new career adventure? …Do let me know in the comments below!
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If this post has resonated with you and you’d like to learn more about getting started with your career change or career reinvention you can download my free ebook "The Top 5 Challenges Facing Midlife Career Reinventors and How to Overcome Them".
©2017 Trudy Lloyd. All Rights Reserved.

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    Author

    I believe that everyone should enjoy meaningful, satisfying and rewarding work - work that fires you up! I am fascinated by human potential and the life journeys people make to find work and careers where they can channel and develop their skills and talents in meaningful and satisfying ways.

    ​Even for professionals, the 21st century’s rapidly changing work environment can feel precarious. However, due to the information and technologies now available, I feel that there has never been a better time to discover what type of career fires you up - and to follow that dream.

    In my free time I enjoy yoga, fitness and shooting the breeze with family and friends.

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